The Foundation This Family Stands On

Fifty, Grandpa , half a century of being the man we look up to. Today we toast you, with all the love this family has to give.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. You've been telling the same five stories for twenty years, and somehow they get better every time. That's not nostalgia. That's mastery.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. Every grandchild you have is secretly trying to figure out how you did it. We haven't got it yet. Keep living so we can keep watching.

Happy birthday, Grandpa. You have one volume: opinions, delivered clearly, to whoever is in range. It is objectively the most useful quality anyone in this family has ever had.